Monday, 9 April 2012

Don't ever take anything for granted, ever.

Hi everyone.

Today's blog is a very, very personal take on a specific turn of events that myself and my partner have gone through this Easter weekend. I encourage you to read it to it's fullest, and take everything I write here very seriously.

I'd like to start by thanking everyone around me for their continued support and caring during this extremely difficult time for us.

It was 7:30pm on Saturday night when my partner asked me to take her back into town to get a pair of tights to head out in with her friends for the night, I was designated to not drink that night so there was no issue with taking a quick trip back in to pick up the item.

After pulling out of the drive and heading down the road, we came to an intersection where we had to turn right, the car seemed to be revving quite high so I slowed down for the turn, taking it nice and slow and pulling back into second gear (I was driving an automatic). After making the turn I started to accelerate, and made my way into third gear. It was at this moment that I struggled to knock it into drive, I looked down at the gearbox and made sure I was in third (which I was at the time) and thought to myself "I'll hold the down the button, and slide it into drive and limp into town", after struggling for what seemed like forever, I finally got it to shift into what I thought was drive.

Unfortunately, the stick slipped completely through drive and neutral, into reverse.

In doing so, the wheels locked up, and we started skidding, I lost all control of the car as it cannoned down the road. It was all I could do to keep us from hitting a pole. We hit a ditch on the side of the road and the car lurched onto the passenger's side, before crashing back down onto all four wheels.
The first thing I did was turn the car off, and take the keys out. I looked to my left so see my partner in complete shock, screaming and crying. I got her and myself out of the car and for the next fifteen minutes I stood on the side of the road with my partner in my arms shaking and crying.

Anyone who has never been in this situation has absolutely no idea how horrific this experience is.
I called my dad, he assured me that everything was going to be okay, and that he'd be out there asap, during that time I felt like vomiting, my legs were shaking, my arms were shaking, I couldn't see properly and the only thing I could see when I closed my eyes was the replay of what just happened. I could see the fence on the side of the road coming closer and closer, I could hear my girlfriend screaming as we hit the ditch, I could hear the tyres screeching along the road, and finally I could hear the sickening thud of the car coming to rest.

All I could think of was that I'd just nearly ruined two families' lives.

Does anyone know how crushing that feels? I felt like the worst person in the entire world. The next day was Easter Sunday and I'd just ruined it.

Fast forward to Easter Sunday, the whole family is at my dad's and all I can think is "I nearly lost all of this." My new baby sister, my dad, everyone. It's kinda hard to enjoy yourself when you can't stop thinking about that kind of thing.

I still can't close my eyes without the aforementioned images flashing in front of my eyes, the noise and the same feeling from that night just comes straight back. I haven't slept properly since the accident.

In closing, I was not drinking and I was not being a dickhead. Judge me as you will for documenting what we've been through. But this is my way of coping, I can't just pretend like it never happened. I'm not going to force these horrible images out of my head. I'm going to live with it and keep going. As the quote goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'd just really like to know how I've become stronger because of this.


Friday, 6 April 2012

Let us join together in an epic adventure.

Today is an absolutely beautiful day. Am I outside, reclined in a deck chair sipping at a freshly mixed smoothie? No, no I'm not. This has been my day so far.

So here I am typing away in my stuffy little room trying to think of something to write about.
I think to myself, "if I just hurry up and write something unfunny and not entertaining, I can go outside for a while." But today, I can't think of anything at all. The only thing on my mind at the moment is how many dishes there are in the sink, what my best route through the house would be to cause minimal effort when I wrangle that demon-lord vacuum cleaner.

I don't consider myself to be overly lazy, I just have a horrible set of priorities. As mother dear always used to say to me "GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT KIDDO." I never did, still haven't.
For example, I'll be on the internet and this little voice will be in my head whispering, "hey Sean, Sean, hey! You've got stuff to do! There's a whole load of washing that finished an hour ago that needs to be taken out!" "Fuck off", I mutter as I get back to the incredibly important task of laughing at pictures of cats.

Monday, 2 April 2012

Growing up, and how to be awesome.

First things first, it's actually been a long, long time since I've posted. Hopefully people still use this site and will actually read this blog again. I'm going to try my very best to get back into writing, time has been quite precious recently for me. Which brings me to the actual topic at hand.

Growing up. We all have to do it at some point in time during our lives, or you end up like this.

Or worse, you could end up like that and struggle to spell "childhood".

We don't want to end up as a smelly vagrant feeling constant nostalgia for those better times.
"Help!" you cry from your rooftop, in that middle-class estate you currently live in, in the four bedroom house your parents are still paying off, as you read this on your iPhone that you're struggling to pay for each month but feel you have to own. You realize how ridiculous you must look, perched on the roof in your pj's, so you make your way back inside to your bedroom, being careful not to wake your parents (oh how they hate to be woken up on a work night) and nestle into your bed. You open up your laptop that your parents supplied to you for university or some other education, in vain hope you would actually do something. But, it's been years since you finished high school and every day that goes by you seem to be losing any motivation to be something, to actually become the success story your parents hoped you would be when they both grunting in pleasure, as your dad thrust his way to climax and, with a sullen look to his now-wife said "sorry love, I forgot to wrap it." Then. Came. You.

This right here is the problem, that little tale was kinda what my life has been like for the last say, three years. But I finally caught the scent, I got paid, I took the needle filled with dollars and poked that painful little bastard into every inch of my body (there's quite a few inches, by the way.)
Now it's like I can't get enough, I want to do things, I want to learn super awesome cool things so that I can put those super awesome cool things to use and get PAID. Thursday nights to me are exactly like heading out for a walk, finding my dealer and having him say "Hey man! For all the great work you've done here's some free narcotics, no, please! I insist!" And off I trot, arms full of chemicals just waiting to be inhaled. I feel as though I'm getting way, way off track. So let me say this, get a job, yes there's a recession of some description happening at the moment, yes it's such a pain in the ass to get onto (Aus represent) and spam "apply" to everything but the truck driving and nursing jobs.

YOU WILL FEEL LIKE THIS. So seriously, do you want to feel like Jesus riding a dinosaur? Of course you do, everyone does.

Get up, do something, quit complaining, I was just like you not too long ago. That life sucks. One day you'll have kids that mean everything to you, you will want the world for them, start by giving the world to yourself.