Sunday, 12 June 2011

Man vs. Wild, basement edition.

It's a Saturday morning, and after a long sleepless night of defeating dragons on the internet...
^, <, ^, x, v, o, o, shoryuken




Our resident neckbeard is feeling peckish, perhaps a treat of sorts will satisfy his raging hunger pains.
He slowly gets up and awkwardly shuffles his way to the kitchen, only to find that it's been two weeks since his mother restocked the fridge.



Milk, eggs and an apple. These measly scraps are not worthy of even being in the presence of Master-Slayer Neckbeard. Hearing the call of his stomach, our hero weighs up his options, starve or go on a magical journey to the Outside and collect treats. To his distaste, he chooses the second option.




You know it's going to be a bad day, when even the sun and trees have sad faces.

Upon entering the store, neckbeard is presented with a huge problem... Frosties or Fruit Loops? "Screw it" he thinks, wanting the least amount of exposure to the fresh air, "I'll take both."



He makes his way over to the registers, his grubby paws held a firm grasp on his cereal selection. Trying not to take notice of anyone around him, our neckbeard places his goods on the conveyer belt and waits in line to be served, as his boxes are being bagged, he looks up at the cashier to hand over the $7 total, and is stunned by the beautiful goddess that stood behind the register.


The cashier bears a startling resemblance to Zooey Deschanel, right?





Because of his lack of social skills, our friend could only offer a muttered "thankyou.... gorgeous." The cashier gave him a stunned look of disgust as he quickly made his way out of the supermarket. With his head in the clouds (literally), neckbeard made his way home, thinking of his princess from the supermarket whilst whistling the star wars theme. As he was walking through the park, neckbeard crossed through some long grass, and was attacked!



"Ka-Pow!" The perfect sound effect for fighting.



Neckbeard blacked out, and woke up back in his basement, in his chair as if nothing had ever happened. He would have believed it, if it weren't for the black eye and cuts all over his body.
Moral of the story kids, if you're ever hungry, pizza is the best option - no exceptions.'


23 comments:

  1. That's hilarious! Poor young neckbeard...

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  2. Intriguing. What's wrong with milk and an apple? Too healthy? =P

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  3. Zooey is so fine. I love these posts, btw. good stuff, keep it up.

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  4. Are you the one doing the drawings? Great talent :D

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  5. I am the one doing the drawings (: Ty!

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  6. lols lovin the story and drawings

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  7. Haha, so much truth in the post. This blog has got swag.

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  8. Haha, nice story. Sounds very familiar!

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  9. a generation of basement dwellers hehe

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  10. Haha, nice drawings. :) gives it a little quirk. :) +followed

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  11. true dat about pizza. +followed.

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  12. Ah, the old stick figure gang in the park. Gotta watch out for those guys!

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  13. $7 for two boxes of cereal? Outrageous!

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  14. I need a good laugh thanks for sharing.

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